rejectomorph (flying_blind) wrote,
rejectomorph
flying_blind

Shame

Rain hypnotized me and I fell asleep watching television. I woke up and there was Olivia Newton-John. Olivia Figging Newton-John. I had one of those moments when you don't quite know when you are, and there I was looking at all that scary '80s hair and hearing Jeff Lynn's cheesy post-disco music. They were showing "Xanadu" (Oh, the camping humanity!) For about ten seconds, the last twenty years hadn't happened, and then my slowly waking brain escaped its delusion. But there remained that residue of temporal confusion which always follows such rude awakenings.

Later, I went out to see if the cool air could finish bringing me back to reality, and there was a raccoon coming up the walk in the gray morning light. It stopped and gave me its baleful bandit stare for a few seconds. I must have been both unexpected and unpleasant to see. I stared back at it and said "Hey, raccoon", and it turned and trotted across the glistening street, preferring the falling rain to my company. I can't blame it.

Now the edge is off my sleep, but my head is still fuzzy inside. I hear the morning crows laughing at me. Why do they laugh? Because they know I watched the rest of the figging Newton-John movie! I couldn't help myself. I'll pay, I know, and not just by enduring the mockery of crows. I'll be disgusted with myself for at least a week. Television is a curse, I tell you!

I'll try to sleep now, and hope not to have nightmares about being Michael Beck.
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