rejectomorph (flying_blind) wrote,

Heat, and Tiny Penis News

I don't want to sound like an ingrate, having been given several extra weeks of pleasant, cool weather this spring, but, damn! This heat now is killing me! The bugs are maddening! WTF happened?

::scratches at fresh mosquito bite on ear::

At this moment, I'm very much tempted to open another bottle of beer. I never want beer this late. I spent some time lying in the dark, trying to transform the sound of crickets into the sound of waves washing a beach. Failure. A couple more days of this and I'll be a desiccated husk.

To distract myself from the discomfort, I perused teh Internets for something worse. I easily found it. Behold the Permanent Shrinkage! A bonus came with this article: I learned the term "anogential distance," also known as AGD. It refers to the area which Johnny Knoxville calls "the gooch." I'm sure that the Academy of General Dentistry, and its publication, AGD Impact, would be pleased if we would all adopt Johnny's term. Cricketer Graham Gooch, I suspect, would not. You know, I think I'll start calling my gooch "Graham."

Clearly, the heat is having a terrible effect on my brain. But at least there weren't so many phthalates around when I was a foetus, so my equipment is probably normal.

There. Now I feel better. Thanks, Internets!

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