rejectomorph (flying_blind) wrote,

Goodbye, Columbia House

I just hung up the telephone on a guy from Columbia House. He had time to say "Hi, this is Chester Irritation with Columbia House..." and I said "I'm not buying anything" and hung up. For years, I have endured the barrage of calls from sellers of everything from siding for the house I don't own to magazines (themselves a mass of advertising wrapped around a tiny bit of low-value content) for fanciers of pregnant budgies. I have listened politely to endless spiels for insurance and satellite dishes and cell phones, and politely refused each offer with "No, thank you." Sometimes I've even apologized: "I'm sorry, I don't need an above-ground pool with electronic security system and whirlpool attachment." If I added up the minutes I've spent not buying things offered me by telephone solicitors, those minutes would stretch into hours, or probably days of my life, all sacrificed to the oddball American notion that commerce should be allowed to invade our lives when and where and how it pleases, for the benefit those businesses which find themselves with an overstock of air mattresses or roofing materials.

But now, at last, the years of intrusive telephone solicitation has cured me of a lifetime of patience and politeness. It has become so relentlessly annoying that I have learned not only to be rude, but to be quite pleased with myself for being rude. My congratulations to yet another short-sighted, self-destructive element of our collapsing economy. True, that economy will now be plunged into ruin as a result of my vile, un-consumerlike behavior, but I consider the opprobrium I must endure for that fact a small price to pay for the pleasure I feel when I hear that blessed click as I push the button that ends the intrusion. A soft word may turn away wrath, but only rudeness can turn away telephone solicitors. May rudeness reign throughout the land!
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