rejectomorph (flying_blind) wrote,

Reset Twenty-One, Day One

One way the heat messes with me is that when I nod off, which I do frequently these days, I have odd dream fragments that are briefly oddly convincing. Saturday evening I had one in which I was frantically searching for a pair of frying pans I'd bought at the store Friday, and I could picture them exactly as they looked, but the fact is I didn't buy any such pans, yet when I woke up I still believed for several seconds that I had bought them and then misplaced them. Heat delusions. I'll probably be having a lot of them over the next couple of weeks, or for for whatever portion of the next couple weeks I survive.

Another way the heat messes with me is by making it difficult for me to breathe. The air seems to be incredibly heavy, and when I went out to check the mailbox I was so winded by the time I got back that I was on the verge of a panic attack. I had to lower the thermostat by another two degrees so the air conditioning would kick in and I could get a deep breath. I also have to use the air conditioner to lower the temperature before I go to bed or I'll be unable to get to sleep, no matter how tired I am. I have no idea what I'll do if we get a power outage during this heat wave.

Well after three o'clock in the morning it's still quite warm outside. A short time ago I stepped out for a moment into the back yard (which I remembered to water last evening) and while it was no longer the outdoor sauna it was in the afternoon it remains no place to linger. The place was so nearly silent that I had a brief thought that everyone else had died of heat stroke and I was the last person alive in Chico. All I heard was that persistent mockingbird, who must still be without a mate. Not even the lone cricket was chirping. I don't recall ever having heard the place so quiet. Then a distant car began moving this way along the freeway, so I'm not alone after all. Good. There will be somebody around to bury me.

Sunday Verse

Star Block

by Kay Ryan

There is no such thing
as star block.
We do not think of
locking out the light
of other galaxies.
It is light
so rinsed of impurities
(heat, for instance)
that it excites
no antibodies in us.
Yet people are
curiously soluble
in starlight.
Bathed in its
absence of insistence
their substance
loosens willingly,
their bright
designs dissolve.
Not proximity
but distance
burns us with love.

  • Reset Twenty-Two, Day Five

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  • Reset Twenty-Two, Day Four

    Saturday got less slept away than Thursday or Friday but I still didn't get up until three o'clock in the afternoon. It's not like I'm missing much,…

  • Reset Twenty-Two, Day Three

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