rejectomorph (flying_blind) wrote,

Missing a Day

I keep thinking that today is Monday, probably because I squandered Monday night watching television. Television causes massive distortion of time, and has a negative effect on the rotation of the earth. It creates voids in city streets and makes people late for work and for funerals. It is the force most responsible for our excessive consumption of fats, and it caused the extinction of gnomes and elves. Without television, there would be no Bill Gates.

Lepidoptera attempt to protect humans from the malign influence of television by covering the screens with their bodies, but foolish humans swat them away. Dogs will watch television, and are surely the worse for it, but only the most gullible of cats give it more than the occasional contemptuous glance. Television provides deceitful politicians with their most effective means of disseminating lies to the widest possible audience. Television made Sally Jesse Raphael rich. Television has a lot to answer for. But television has no answers.

In other news, I feel a bit queasy today. I blame television.

Also, why does the LJ client spell check program question "lepidoptera?"
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