I think I've figured out why Sluggo is so slow, In spite of his ample memory and fast CPU and hard drive. He has, without my knowledge, been crunching phony numbers for one of those evil accounting firms such as Arthur Anderson. He might even be the leader of a cabal of evil computers, all working to destroy the world economy. Be vigilant! If your computer is slower than it ought to be, it may be part of this vast conspiracy, quietly doing tasks on behalf of Sluggo and his corrupt human cohorts, as you innocently surf the net.