July 11th, 2021

caillebotte_man at his window

Reset Twenty-One, Day Fifteen

The hot, hot Saturday failed to kill me, but it's about to get help from a hot, hot Sunday which might. All the parts of the waking day I wasn't successfully distracted I was sad or anxious or both. I ought to have seen this coming, of course, as most of my early memories are of sadness and anxiety, and the rest are of the things that would successfully distract me from them. I'm old enough to know that being old brings back many of the things you thought you'd gotten over. My most effective distraction is still the one that worked best then, too: music. So I spent a lot of tie watching music videos on YouTube.

The electricity didn't go out, although a fire in Oregon is threatening the Pacific Intertie, a major part of the system that brings surplus hydropower from the pacific Northwest to California. It's one of three major high country fires burning from Washington to California. Lots of smaller fires are burning too. Thus far we still aren't getting smoke, but I'm sure that will change sooner or later. Later would be better. Much later.

Something something birds something something crickets... but I'm so exhausted that I can barely keep my eyes open. Also the bottoms of my feet hurt. What the hell is that about? I hardly even use them anymore, yet they get sore.

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