February 9th, 2021

5th street los angeles 1905

Day Out

Monday I went out and shopped, and forgot only a few items and missed a few more that were out of stock, but also picked up a few things I didn't expect to get. It was quite tiring. I dislike shopping more each time I go, and I'm glad it's over for at least a few more weeks. After putting Monday's haul away (mostly) I remembered to put the wheelie bin out, but didn't have to as one of the neighbors had already done it, so I just checked the mailbox and came back in and crashed around seven o'clock, then slept until after midnight.

When I woke up I felt very sad. I feel sad a lot these days. I probably should have bought some cupcakes at the store. Cupcakes can create the illusion of happiness by distracting one from all the non-cupcakeness of daily life. The illusion doesn't last much longer than the cupcakes, but it's a respite. The only respite in sight now is the near-certainty of rain on Thursday, which will be a respite from the mild and droughty winter we've been enduring. Other than that the near future looks monotonous and dismal. Better than chaotic and dismal, of course, but it would have been nice to have some cupcakes to break it up.

Back to the now-usual lack of routine today. I hope to do some laundry soon, preferably before the rain. Aside from that, there are no plans or prospects of plans. I will fill the gaps with Internet and books. Sounds like a plan, but it isn't. It's just desperation. Sad, cupcakeless desperation.