May 1st, 2020

laszlo moholy-nagy_chx

Reset the Second, Day the Sixth

There was impressive dinner tonight, and now there must be extensive cleanup, plus finding room in the refrigerator for extensive leftovers. But this was the last food item I had on hand that will require so much work to put together and clean up after. Eating it was a nice change from the duller meals I've had, but boy will I be glad to get back to heating up a bowl of ramen in the microwave. The kitchen is not my home, alas. Maybe if I enjoyed eating more than I do I'd learn to be a better cook, and maybe if I learned to be a better cook I'd come to enjoy eating more, but neither of those is going to happen so it's all moot anyway.

Although I've slept a lot over the last couple of days I still lack energy and I'm feeling sleepy already tonight. Given that it's after one o'clock in the morning now I guess that isn't surprising, even though I didn't get up until close to noon Thursday. Doing next to nothing (aside from cooking dinner) sure is exhausting. But it's most likely my chronically high anxiety levels that are bringing on most of this exhaustion. That I both am and feel old surely contributes, but it's also started to feel as though the entire world has grown old even faster than I have. It seems like a decrepit place, clearly in decline, but maybe I'm just projecting. Maybe I should eat some ice cream. Ice cream never seems to get old. Well, actually it does get old if it sits in the freezer too long, but you know what I mean.

The mocking bird hasn't gotten old yet either, nor has Taylor the lizard who turned up again today, scampering about the yard in fits and starts. Lizards can move petty fast when they want to, and the warm weather seems to speed them up. Taylor might be solar powered, as he was zipping around at an almost alarming speed this afternoon. I wish I could identify lizard species, as I have no idea what Taylor is. Perhaps a gecko or newt of some sort. The little bugger doesn't stay in one spot long enough for me to get a good look, and never lets me get very close. My eyesight being as bad as it is I really can't even be sure I'm not looking at some sort of little reptilian space alien, not an actual lizard at all. But as far as I can recall, Taylor has not yet attempted to probe me. so that's a good thing.

Time is slipping away and I need to get to the dinner cleanup or I'll have dishes to do tomorrow morning again. I hate that. I think I've got about twenty minutes in me before I collapse into unconsciousness. Goodnight, Internets. Happy May Day.