April 3rd, 2020

caillebotte_the orangerie

Reset Day Five

Did my face always itch this much? Now that I'm trying not to touch it, it seems to be itchy all the time. I know I used to scratch it occasionally, but I don't remember it being as often as I want to scratch it now. Now sometimes I just grab a tissue and rub it over the itchy spot, or I go wash my hands and then scratch away. It never satisfies me for long, though. And if I'm this itchy hen I'm awake, what am I doing while I'm asleep? I imagine my hands getting all over my sleeping face, like something in a horror movie. It's another bit o the generalized weirdness that has taken over reality.

People were hanging out on the bike trail beyond my back fence again today. I couldn't see how many, of course, but it sounded like at least three. At least one was out there, either talking to herself or talking to someone on a phone, when I woke up around eleven o'clock, and others came and went all afternoon. It's probably the bush that grows along the fence that makes it an inviting spot. It sticks out a few feet then drapes down along the edge of the pavement on this side of the trail, making a shady, sheltered area along the fence. I don't know if anybody is out there tonight, but if they are they've been very quiet for several hours.

It was sunny and close to 70 degrees Thursday, and will be the same again today. Th storm that is supposed to arrive Saturday will bring much cooler air, and some pretty strong winds, but not a whole lot of rain. We are supposed to get half an inch Saturday an an inch Sunday, and possibly some traces of rain Monday. I'm guessing the trail will quiet down for the weekend. The bush provides some shade, but wouldn't give much protection in a rainstorm, so I can't imagine anybody will want to hang out there then.

Rooting through some stuff that got shoved to the backs of kitchen cupboards I found a package of stale peanut butter cookies. It has a "best by" date of April 21... 2019. They might not be too bad dipped in tea, which is what I intend to do with them when the rain comes. They are so stale that a couple more days won't make any noticeable difference in them. I'll save my fresher cookies for a later date.

Dammit, there goes my nose itching again. I think the little nerves in my face want to kill me. Well, they'l just have to wait. I'm going to go read something now. I hope the indigestion the one cookie I sampled is bound to give me doesn't interfere with my sleep. I'd like to sleep as much as possible for the next few weeks. It helps pass the time— even if I am scratching the hell out of my face the whole time I'm out.

Reset Day Six

To my surprise I had dinner at something like dinnertime tonight. It was around eight o'clock, which according to George S. Kaufman and Edna Ferber's play and George Cukor's 1933 movie based on it, is when the ritzy people eat dinner. My family was working class and ate dinner only on Sunday afternoons. On weeknights we had supper, and that was at five o'clock, unless my dad had to work late.

Only later in my life did I find out that ritzy people also ate supper, but it was much later at night and was something you did after the theater or a night of clubbing, and was frequently shared with, and a prelude to sex with, someone to whom one was probably not married. Given how irregular my schedule has become I guess I could say that I've had a lot of late suppers in recent years, but sex never seems to be involved. It could be, I suppose, if I wanted to call one of those telephone numbers they used to advertise on late night cable television shows, but the thought of that never appealed to me. Plus it's expensive. I'd rather spend the money on better food for supper. My lonely late supper.

Anyway, dinner ended up being ready at around eight this evening, not through any plan but just as a random event. I made a small pot of beans, and they just got done at that time. They were not too bad, but I made a bit too much for one meal, and not enough to save any for another meal, so I ate the whole thing and now I feel stuffed. I also got them a bit too salty, which left me thirsty, so now I'm drinking some Stoly with lemonade and lemon flavored sparkling water, which is very tasty, but it is sort of re-stuffing me. Also, since I had beer with dinner, it's likely to make me sleepy, which is why I want to get the journal entry done, before I pass out.

The extra drink is not only making me sleepy, it has made me a bit more cheerful than I've been lately. Maybe I should do this more often. I'll probably be dead soon anyway, so there won't be time for me to ruin my liver. It makes a lot of sense when I think about it— at least at the moment. Of course I don't know how I'll feel about it tomorrow morning. Today I ate the last donut from the half dozen I bought last Saturday, and I don't know when I'll get more. It's been a long time since I've had a morning after without a donut to temper it. I don't know if cookies will work as well. But I guess I'll find out tomorrow. It probably won't be raining yet when I wake up, but it's supposed to rain by afternoon. I'm looking forward to it, since I can't go out anyway.

Now I'm going to wash the dishes while I'm still able to stand upright, and then eat a bit of chocolate and read for a while before I sleep. It's taking me forever to get through my current book, since I keep nodding off after a few pages. Being old is so tedious sometimes.