January 19th, 2020


Saturday Night's Alright for Not Dancing

Naturally I had to go to the Goodwill store today to see if they had new books in, which they didn't, but since I was out I headed over to Dollar Tree for a big bag of bargain cheese balls. They didn't have any new books either, but I picked up a bottle of root beer so I wouldn't be buying just one thing. I'm not sure when I'll get around to drinking root beer in this weather, but I've got it now. It's odd how regular beer is good all year 'round, but root beer requires weather that is at least mild, if not sultry, to taste good to me.

It's going to get quite chilly tonight, and remain cool tomorrow under cloudy sky. The last storm brought a bit of snow to the mountains, but nothing as serious is in the forecast now. Next Tuesday could bring showers, and then Friday through the next Tuesday could also be showery, but nobody is predicting significant rain. The whole of next week looks cloudy except for Wednesday afternoon, but I don't think Wednesday will be mild enough for root beer. It will be taking up refrigerator shelf space at least into February, most likely. I'm sure I'll run out of cheese balls before I drink it, so next time I get those I'll have to find something different to buy with them.

It's very odd, but I keep smelling fish in here. I haven't had fish in a long time, so I have no idea where it is coming from. Most likely it is something I haven't identified that is rotting. Either that or it's a phantom smell generated by a brain tumor. That's what I usually assume is causing random, unidentified smells. There's a good chance that, sooner or later, that's what it will turn out to actually be. Then I'll be able to tell myself, "Hah! I told you so!"

Monday is the half price sale at the Goodwill store. I'm going to sort through the books I've already bought, and refresh my memory of them, to reduce the chances that I'll buy any duplicates. It's actually getting to the point that I could do that, and start building a dementia-fueled library.

But right now I'm going to try to hunt down the source of that fishy smell, because it's seriously starting to rive me crazy, and the last thing I need on top of a brain tumor is to go crazy.
caillebotte_man at his window

Now and Then

It's possible that I've got this figured out; if I get up a bit before noon I need a nap that evening, but if I get up a bit after noon I don't. Today I got up before, and around seven o'clock just had to lie down lest I fall asleep in my chair and then fall out of it. When I woke from the nap I noticed the color of the walls. I don't know the name of the color, but it's a sort of deeply pinkish shade which I'd bet decorators would call something like "dusky rose" or some pretentious such.

But the light in the bedroom is dim, and as I woke from napping the walls looked like the most depressing shade of pale brown I'd ever seen. The only color more depressing I can recall is the brownish-orangey one that the window shades in the house we lived in until I was six years old had. When the afternoon sun shone through them they took on a color that made me want to go back to sleep and never wake up again. In dim light the walls in this apartment provoke the same sort of feeling.

Outside it's very cold again, but it's also fairly quiet, with only intermittent traffic noise from the freeway, so I went out to wake myself up with some fresh air. It sort of worked. I feel a bit awake now, so the wall color didn't swallow me tonight. I have no idea why. I were that wall color I'd devour the entire world.

On a happier note, I went to CVS this afternoon and bought fresh dish washing liquid, which smells very nice, and then I stopped at Taco Bell for a burrito. No night on which I don't have to make dinner is a total loss. There is also still pie. Perhaps I should say that some pie remains, as all pie tends toward stillness, just as language tends toward ambiguity, just as my brain tends toward muddle.

Half price sale at Goodwill tomorrow. Something to look forward to. Tonight I only feel like looking back, but it seems pretty empty. It works out that way sometimes.

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