May 2nd, 2019

Paz

Forgotten Things

So, May. It was fairly Maylike today, moderately warm and a bit breezy, and the evening cooled quickly. We have about another week of this relative mildness, and then next Wednesday it starts edging into the nineties again. Sunday and Monday could be the nicest days upcoming, both in the mid-seventies. The rest of the week will be warmer, but the nights are supposed to be cool. I don't know what I'll do when the really hot weather arrives. I've already had the fan going every day, and I'm not enjoying the drafts. Add air conditioning and it could get very unpleasant indeed.

I've been trying to remember things— little fragmentary details of the past that flit by but won't stay put long enough for me to examine them. I used to be pretty good at conjuring up bits of the past, but the talent seems to have left me. Maybe it was just another one of the things that got burned. Or maybe it is the absence of those objects that got burned, depriving me of anything concrete on which to build an edifice of nostalgia. Indeed, I'm having a hard time remembering things from six or seven months ago or more. I can't remember what jasmine smells like. It's unlikely I'll be smelling any around here.

I raided the remains of K-mart's clearance sale today. There wasn't much left, but I picked up a couple of colored t-shirts I'll be able to wear alone under a sport coat— one gray, one more black, and one navy blue. There was also a heavier pullover I'll save for next fall, and a fairly lightweight cardigan semi-sweater (it feels like microfiber) which will be nice for the cooler evenings. These were all quite cheap, but I think the clothing budget is just about exhausted for the year. That will give me one less excuse to go out, or one more to stay in, I guess. There is probably a lot of reading in my future, what with repellently hot days coming up, and few reasons to leave this apartment. Reading is okay, but I sure miss watching English people murder one another on television.

Very early this morning, around four o'clock, I woke up and turned off the fan and stepped outside for a moment, and I saw a star. Well, a planet, anyway. I'm pretty sure it was Jupiter, though it might have been Saturn. Now that there isn't much to be looking at in the sky I've not been keeping track of what's going on up there. It was nice to see something shining in the sky other than the moon or the lights of an airplane, though.