December 24th, 2018

caillebotte_man at his window

After Midnight

I missed Sunday. This is because I got hung up doing stuff. In fact one of the things I got hung up doing is that I finally got the mobile phone set up as a hotspot, and can now use the wonky laptop instead of the tiny phone itself to get on the Internets. After using the laptop for a few minutes I already miss the phone with its tiny virtual keyboard. Must get a proper computer.

There was also vodka involved, which may (aka certainly does) account for why I'm up this late writing Sunday's entry on Monday. After the last few weeks I think I deserve a good sousing. One of many things I probably deserve, but the one that's easiest to get, so... sue me? Something like that. The vodka is being particularly effective due to the fact that I had noting but a couple of pieces of toast with cream cheese for dinner. The toaster works! Yay!

But being shitfaced (I believe that's what it's called) tonight is unlikely to make tomorrow any easier. My guess would be that I'll wake up late and have a hangover. In fact I might not get to sleep very soon if the room is spinning around. I hate when the room spins around, which is one reason I don't drink to excess very often. I don't drink to excess very often, but when I do I prefer to drink to way excess.

Crap, this is getting me nowhere, and spellcheck is getting pissed off at me, underlining practically everything I write in lurid red.

I part the blinds to look out at the streetlights in the cul-de-sac, glowing though a thin valley fog and reflecting in the wet asphalt. The windows of all but one apartment in the block at the end of the street are dark. I know nobody there. I know nobody here. The moon alternates between pale orb and vague bright spot in the overcast sky. The neighbors with whom I share a common wall are silent. The fog has tempered the sound of cars passing along the freeway. The world seems not quite empty, not quite inhabited. How strange that it should come to this. What will it come to next? I'm not sure I want to know.

Collapse )


Today I was somewhat less hung over than I'd expected to be. I ought to have tried harder. But the room did not spin last night and I slept okay, for a few hours, but then woke up too early and couldn't get back to sleep. Partly the mobile phone's fault. I haven't figured out how to make it be quiet. There's supposed to be something like that, isn't there? It's well hidden, and the damned thing always seems to chirp at me at five or six o'clock because somebody in a different time zone commented on a Farcebook entry or some such thing.

Most of the day was spent looking at pictures of rescue cats, setting up automatic payments for my T-Mobile account, and doing some laundry. I'd have put off the laundry but realized that I have too few t-shirts to do that. I need a clean one because I've arranged to go to Safeway tomorrow. All the other stores are closed for some holiday— probably the one that has caused people to put little light bulbs all over the place.

There was more rain today, but I did manage to get in a short walk to the end of the block at dusk again, thanks to a brief hiatus in the drizzle. I'd like to get more familiar with the neighborhood, but it's difficult because there's not much differentiation in the buildings so they all tend to blend together in my mind. Just like the days of the last few weeks. Anything that seems like normalcy seems a long way off. The normalcy of the recent past seems even further off, but it probably isn't. Ask me again in a year or two.