December 16th, 2018

caillebotte_man at his window

Dark, Wet Sky

Comet 46P/Wirtanen is at its closest point to Earth tonight, but I won't be able to see it here as there is still rain falling from the heavy clouds. The rain was quite vigorous several times this afternoon, though for the last couple of hours it has been mostly just a sad drizzle. I don't know if the comet would be visible from Chico in any case, the town's lights being as bright as they are. Plus it's supposed to be at least partly cloudy here all week, so it's possible that I might not have been able to see the comet even from the ridge. I certainly wish I could have been there to try, though, in the company of a feral cat or two.

The various animal rescue pages on Facebook are still making new posts, though more and more of them are of two types: pictures of reunions as people return to their ruined property and find cats or, less often, dogs waiting for them, or posts about people who have returned and found the identifiable remains of their dead animals. Given the number of coyotes that patrolled my neighborhood, and the paucity of places for cats to take refuge amid the ruins, I suspect I am unlikely to be in either group.

Its unlikely I'll be able to get up there again anytime soon anyway. None of my numerous relatives in Chico are especially eager to cater to my whims, and I have no practical alternatives for transportation. I can't say their reluctance comes as a surprise. I've never wielded much power in this family, and I'm accustomed to relatives disappointing me. I just regret that my cats, if any survive, might be suffering as a result of my family's ever-weird dynamics.

It looks as though I'll be signing the lease for the apartment tomorrow. I don't look forward to it, though I do look forward to not being here (in the very center of the weird dynamics) anymore. I'm not especially cheered by my long-term prospects. It's unlikely I'll ever own a house again, or that once the insurance company's rent provision runs out I will ever have an income adequate to provide the few luxuries I could afford when I had no rent to pay. I might get cable for now, but I think I'll have to give it up fairly soon, and broadcast signals in Chico are few and weak. The future looks pretty dull and, without the cats, pretty lonely.

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