December 13th, 2012



A crazy azalea bush in the back yard is blooming. If we were having a mild autumn this would not be so strange, but this plant typically blooms in the spring. Its sudden outburst of red flowers appearing on a cold and partly cloudy day in December is bizarre. Two adjacent azalea bushes are behaving themselves. I hope they continue to do so. If they, too, were to bloom now I'd suspect that some some sort of plant rebellion was underway, and I'd be very uneasy.

Will the camellia bush suddenly expand over my windows and deprive me of all sunlight? Will the gardenias suddenly emerge and spread a neurotoxic perfume that causes me to go mad? Will tendrils of jasmine break into the house and strangle me in my sleep? I have half a mind to dig up the offending azalea and burn it. There's no telling where such arrogant behavior as this shrub is displaying might lead if it is not nipped in the..., well, it's obviously too late to nip it in the bud. Nipped in the blossom, then!

Keep a sharp eye on your gardens! We may be under attack!

A Fine Mess You've Gotten Me Into, Jet Stream!

Unholy crap! Weather Underground says there's a 20% chance of snow here tonight, and varied chances of rain or snow for the next ten days or so. Had I known that today was likely to be the last dry day for over a week I'd have raked the last leaves from the back lawn. Now they are apt to become a soggy mass day after day and be hell to get up once they do dry out again. If they dry out again. Should it stay wet long enough, I might get lucky and they will be converted to soil without my lifting a finger. A frozen finger. But should it stay wet that long my leaky roof will probably bring my ceiling down long before spring. I certainly don't want my insulation being converted into soil on my floor.