October 31st, 2011


A Pickle

I was going to have bats for dinner tonight, but the bat traps are empty and the stores are completely sold out of bats, this being Halloween. Next year I'll buy early and avoid the holiday rush. Maybe I'll freeze them, although fresh bat is always tastier than frozen bat. This year I'll just have to settle for black bean burritos. At least the beans are the same color as bats. Considerably less festive on the plate, though.

No trickster treaters yet. I don't have any candy for them anyway. Some years we don't get any trickster treaters, and I don't want to end up eating a bunch of leftover candy myself, so I never buy the stuff. I do have a huge new jar of kosher dills. If any kids show up, maybe I'll give them dill pickles.

I'd have loved to get dill pickles for Halloween when I was a kid, but I suppose my tastes were eccentric. Most kids undoubtedly prefer something sweet. But then getting a dill pickle would give them something to talk about— the crazy guy who handed out dill pickles instead of candy. Stories about crazy people are suitable to Halloween, so I'd be adding to their enjoyment of the holiday, while not contributing to the destruction of their teeth.

Ungrateful little buggers ought to thank me. And keep off my lawn!