December 8th, 2005


Still, Still

There is a faint electric hum in the perfectly still air. If my ears would pivot like those of a cat, I could discern the exact direction of the source, which seems to change as I move about the front yard. Perhaps it has no single source, though. It might be the collective hum of furnace fans near and far, keeping the dark houses warm. The moon which slightly paled the clouds earlier has set, and little can now be seen but vague shapes. Here and there, a window is palely lit behind a shade or drape, and a corner of one house is revealed by a few Christmas lights which were not extinguished. The wall of a shed is illuminated by a backyard light at a house on the next street over. Aside from that, my own glowing window is the brightest spot in sight.

Other than the electric hum, the loudest sound is my breathing. Soon, the early commuters will begin to pass along nearby roads, disturbing the serenity. For now, I can walk the wet pavement and hear my footsteps clearly. The air holds a very thin fog, less seen than scented, which I augment with each exhalation. Despite the damp, I hear nothing drip. Somehow, it doesn't seem quite as cold tonight. The cloud cover has wrapped us and kept us, if not exactly warm, at least unfrozen. Though time seems to pass slowly, it is not slow enough for me. I could spend weeks of nights such as this and not grow tired of them. I have the feeling, if I walked long enough through this placid world, that through the agencies of my patience and the night's calm, I would come to experience some profound revelation. I know this to be an illusion, but it is as pleasant as the the transient atmosphere which induced it.
caillebotte_the orangerie


I got to see sunlight this afternoon, and sneeze at it. I also saw a bunch of those little flying insects who bob up and down, up and down over the lawn. They are only easily visible when back lit by a very bright light. The way they bob, they always remind me of those old sing-along cartoons with the bouncing ball that pointed out the lyrics. I only ever saw those cartoons on television, and always wondered if the audiences in movie theatres where they were originally shown actually sang along with them. And now I wonder whether or not, were someone to make a hip hop bouncing ball cartoon, contemporary movie audiences would rap along with it.

Anyway. The insects bobbing over the lawn had no words to point out, and I had no idea how to pronounce the blades of grass, so I watched them in silence. Then the sun set and I had macaroni. Now the half moon is shining and blanching the dimmer stars, but, once it sets, there will be a nice assortment of celestial lights to watch, maybe even including some meteors! I'll have to be careful looking at the sky, though, because my neck still wants to go out of joint. It's going to be colder here again, too, our blanket of clouds being gone. But I certainly don't want to spend the entire night indoors, where the heated air is making me dopier with each passing minute.