November 18th, 2005

laszlo moholy-nagy_chx


The failure of the air to become seasonably cold provided me with one more night on which to be comfortable while watching the moonlit landscape. Though the breezes were slight and infrequent, the mulberry tree seldom stopped shedding leaves. I listened to them fall, one after another, flickering reflected moonlight. It was very nice. I might have stayed out longer, but I came in and stuck the Internet into my brain again (I've seen the keyboard and the damage done....) Ah, well, it's too late now. My head is swimming with digital illusions and delusions. It would have been okay if I'd found something interesting, as I did Wednesday night, but I just ended up seeing crap not worth writing about, let alone linking to. And to think that I could have watched the yellow moon become a pale ghost as the sky turned blue and the pines appeared, their brown autumn needles struck into gold by the rising sun!
gericault_the raft of the medusa 2


I find myself growing more irritable as I age, and more physically irritable in particular. An ache here and a twinge there bother me more than they once did, and this increased irritability comes just when the aches and twinges grow more frequent. I also find that I need to have my eyes and teeth checked more often, and this happens just as my annoyance upon doing these things increases. Aging is all very good in theory, but in practise isn't particularly enjoyable. Most annoying, I think, is that various bits and pieces (yes, I'm talking about you, kidneys, knees, feet, stomach, lungs, pancreas, and certain vertebrae which shall remain unnumbered) are slacking off before my brain is done using them.

My brain thinks it perfectly reasonable to do things such as go for long walks, climb stairs, sit in one position operating a keyboard and staring at a monitor for hours, eat great slabs of pie, drink multiple bottles of beer, and all sorts of other things, without having a bunch of lesser body parts get all whiny and complain about how they're being abused. Not that the brain is doing so well, itself. It forgets a lot of things now, and then gets pissed off when the nose tells it that something is burning or the taste buds tell it that it left out an important ingredient. When confronted with its failure, it usually blames some unnamed blood vessel for bursting or constricting or something.

The brain is turning into a curmudgeon. Or maybe it was a curmudgeon all along, but always directed its curmudgeonly attitudes out toward the world, and I never noticed them until it decided to start criticizing me. Well, parts of me, at least. Right now, for example, my back is telling me to go do something else for a while, and my brain is all pissy because it wants to keep writing. The back is about two minutes from getting its way. As I said, aging is all very good in theory. You gain knowledge and experience and wisdom and all that, but you have to cut back on the ice cream. It's an unfair trade. The brain has finally gathered enough information to know what it wants, and now it has more to do, and then various body parts start falling apart, and you don't even get to eat half a cake as compensation, because your stupid kidneys would shut down. Aging bites.