July 24th, 2004

munkacsy_parc_monceau

Dissatisfied

The moon sets, and pale clouds form, slowly spreading from west to east until the sky takes on the look of parchment. It is a vast, dark page, blank, but strewn with small diamonds. A meteor might write a long stroke which then would vanish, but none appears. Whatever might be said remains unwritten. I stare, and wonder what words might be suited to such a page. None come to mind. In the absence of revelation, I turn my attention to the nearby; the deeper, undifferentiated, clumped darkness of the trees which utterly conceals the houses and the horizon. The forest seems lower than usual, as though weighted down, distorted by some pressure. Perhaps it is the blankness, the missing words, which cause the world to shrink. That sky demands something, and I am unable to provide it. I return to the house to brood. I try to read, but cannot concentrate. I keep remembering that sky. I'll probably dream about it.
hopper_summer_evening

July Gaps

I think I might be taking naps while awake. I'll be looking at some page on the Internet, then be looking at an entirely different page, and have no idea how I got from one to the other. Maybe I'm just developing multiple personality disorder, and neither personality has anything better to do than web surf. That would be a disaster. I have barely enough energy to sustain one personality.

A black kitty visited my yard today, and my cat just watched it. Usually she runs stray cats off, even if they are bigger than her. This one she allowed to lie in a shady spot on the front walk for quite a while. She sat and looked at it from twenty feet away, then casually walked into the house when I opened the door. I used to have two black cats, Dude and Touche, both long dead now. Maybe Sugar remembers them. She was afraid of Dude, who was twice her size and disliked her intensely, and frequently attacked her. She was fascinated by his brother, Touche, who also disliked her, but who seldom attacked her. She used to try to play with Touche's tail while he was eating, and he would make an disgruntled meow and sometimes hiss, but then would ignore her. I think maybe today's black cat reminded her of the others, and awakened her old fear and fascination, and that's why she let it be.

There were puffy white clouds today, and now they are illuminated by the half moon. Since nothing in particular is happening here on the ground, it's nice to have something going on in the sky for a change. I was surprised to see that the moon is already half full. (I see it as half full- I guess that makes me an optimist.) Time flies when you're nearly comatose from the heat.