April 23rd, 2004


Movie Night

The top half of Orion was still visible when the sky grew dark last night. His feet already tread the forest floor, concealed from my view. But the removal of the pine tree across the street has opened up a swath of sky which allowed me a longer view of the setting moon and of Venus. I watched them for a while, then went in and spent most of the rest of the night watching old movies. I find these familiar and unchanging things comforting. When I was very young, I liked hearing the same stories over and over again. Whatever it is in me that provokes that desire hasn't changed. I like knowing exactly what will happen next. Tales alone provide that certainty, for me. I suppose that some might find the same pleasure in equations, but I never took that much pleasure in numbers. Numbers don't have happy endings. Ultimately, they end with entropy. I know that they will outlast both the stories and those who tell them, but stories provide an illusion numbers do not. Right now, I like that illusion. I'll probably watch old movies again tonight.

The code changing the way friends and friend-of lists display did go live. I like it.

Something Needed

Sun and heat, a few cumulus clouds, a hum that indicates many bees nearby, a few butterflies, and crazy mutant crickets who chirp in broad daylight. It's a nice day. I'd like to be somewhere else. I grow more and more restless, dissatisfied with this place, and resentful that I can't leave. Even a few hours would be good. I will run out of energy soon, but by then the house will be so clean that it will make me sick. Feh.