But then none of that is happening right now. What is happening right now is this Internet radio station from Paris which I could be convinced is coming from some other age of the world that I won't live to see, or maybe just passing through that age from sometime in the past and being changed. It claims to be playing only the top twenty songs worldwide, but I've never heard any of those they've played so far, even though they've all been in English. If I'd ever been in Kansas I'd think I might not be in Kansas anymore.
So the Internet is full of the world that has gone by while I've been sitting among these pine trees and listening to woodpeckers and watching for the first signs of the wild lupines that might or might not grow in my back yard again this year. I don't recall ever seeing the lupines in southern California. There I saw wild mustard. Whenever I remember the fields that hadn't yet been developed with houses and factories and shopping centers when I was a kid I remember mustard. Lupines would have been nice.
Mustard grows here too, but has to share space with a greater variety of other plants, so I never see the vast swaths of yellow flowers I remember from that time I think I remember. That time has gone through its future and changed, too. I don't quite recognize it when it pops up in my thoughts. I doubt it was ever quite like it was now. I wonder how much I've forgotten? Way more than I remember, I'm sure. I think it was always like that, but who the hell knows? I probably won't.