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rejectomorph

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So Much Depends [Feb. 28th, 2016|11:19 pm]
rejectomorph
While out shopping this afternoon I saw a young dogwood tree in full bloom. It was surrounded by a great deal of pavement and several large buildings, so the heat island effect might have contributed to its early blossoming, but even some of the dogwoods on this side of town, closer to the canyon and windier and chillier, have buds on them. April will most likely arrive in March this year, as March arrived in February. I'm hoping I never have to see June in January.

I'm also hoping that my ears deceived me this evening when I thought I heard a frog croak a few times in my back yard. A frog wouldn't last long with all the feral cats I've got around here. It probably wouldn't be so good for the cat, either, if one of them ate the frog. Reptiles and amphibians don't agree with kitty digestive systems. I'm not sure a frog would have traveled this far from the water, anyway, the nearest stream being about four hundred feet east of here. But it sure sounded like a frog.

The frogs that are still in the stream are still croaking in the darkness. It is very dark tonight. The clouds are hanging around, rarely thinning enough to allow the light of one or two stars to pass for a moment or two. The trees to the north and west are invisible, though there is enough light from the valley towns reflecting off the clouds to the east and south that I can make out the silhouettes of the pines in that direction. There is one less pine to be silhouetted than there used to be, though, as another one was removed from the yard at the end of the block a couple of days ago. A broader view is gradually opening up in that direction. The view is nice, but I think I'd rather keep the remaining trees, thanks.

I bought a bottle of wine at the store today, but just realized that I haven't seen my corkscrew in ages. I went looking for it but can't find it. The wine will probably have to age another week before I can get a new corkscrew and open the bottle. I'm sure the wine will be fine. I, however, will spend a week being disappointed in myself. How could I forget that I don't know where my corkscrew is? One as stupid as I am only deserves wine in a box. I guess that's what I'll buy next time.





Sunday Verse



Ten Ways to Avoid Lending Your Wheelbarrow to Anybody


by Adrian Mitchell


1 PATRIOTIC

May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
I didn't lay down my life in World War II
so that you could borrow my wheelbarrow.

2 SNOBBISH

May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
Unfortunately Lord Goodman is using it.

3 OVERWEENING

May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
It is too mighty a conveyance to be wielded
by any mortal save myself.

4 PIOUS

May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
My wheelbarrow is reserved for religious ceremonies.

5 MELODRAMATIC

May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
I would sooner be broken on its wheel
and buried in its barrow.

6 PATHETIC

May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
I am dying of schizophrenia
and all you can talk about is wheelbarrows.

7 DEFENSIVE

May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
Do you think I'm made of wheelbarrows?

8 SINISTER

May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
It is full of blood.

9 LECHEROUS

May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
Only if I can fuck your wife in it.

10 PHILOSOPHICAL

May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
What is a wheelbarrow?

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Comments:
[User Picture]From: daisydumont
2016-03-01 02:31 am (UTC)
Funny poem! :D

I've been saying for days that we got March in February here, much too soon. The silly purply-flowering trees over by Walgreens are actually flowering, and the trees in front of my windows here are budded out. There is a Seattle thing called June-uary, but it's when June's fricking cold. No one expects nearly 60 degrees in late Feb.!

Cats can't digest amphibians? Hope your froggy singer hops off for safer grounds.

Edited at 2016-03-01 02:36 am (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: flying_blind
2016-03-01 04:47 am (UTC)
Funny Poem.
I am dying of Internets ennui
And all you can talk about is funny poems.

*

I strongly disapprove of weather out of season (unless it lasts only a day or two, in which case it counts as a pleasant diversion.)

*

I've been told that cats invariably vomit up any amphibian they eat. I myself have witnessed many times the same result when a cat eats a reptile (usually a lizard, but a couple of times garden snakes.)



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