I certainly wouldn't want to waste energy on barking tonight if I were a dog. I'd need that energy to keep myself from freezing. I probably wouldn't even bark if I saw burglars breaking into my peoples' house. If that family doesn't care enough about me to let me come indoors on such a cold night, well, they deserve to have their stuff stolen.
Unlike a dog (or my feral cats) I get to stay in a nice, warm(ish) house. I also get to eat sweet potato, which is in the oven right now and almost done. I'm going to put loads of butter on it. If the cholesterol gives me a heart attack and I die then I won't have to pay that huge utility bill that will result from running the furnace so much. It'll be a win-win! In fact butter might be the most enjoyable instrument of death known to mankind. Thanks, cows! Dr. Kevorkian could have learned a thing or two from you!
