rejectomorph (flying_blind) wrote,
rejectomorph
flying_blind

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Hey, Look at Me!

So, I got some of the old pictures digitized and put on a CD. (Maybe more about that later.) These are snapshots taken in Los Angeles in the summer of 1986, just before I left. Among them was one I had forgotten. When I first bought my old (now defunct) Olympus point-and-shoot camera, I decided to test the timer-delay feature on the most likely available subject, which turned out to be me!

I suppose everybody knows that I've never posted a picture of myself here, and don't even have a user icon with my mug on it. Partly it is because I have no scanner or digital camera, but it is also because there are very few pictures of me in existence. I always have thought of that as the wrong end of the camera for me to be on. But now, here is this newly digitized picture which is not entirely horrid, and, well, I guess I just don't have any more excuses.

Keep in mind that this picture is almost sixteen years old, and I am now far, far better looking! (heh, think thy're buying it?) At any rate, thanks to Picture Trail,your long wait is over. But, first, to pleasurably extend the delicious anticipation you are undoubtedly experiencing, here is an enjoyable poll.

Poll #33495 Anticipating the Picture of Rejectomorph>

The celebrity I most expect Rejectomorph to resemble is:

Leonardo DiCaprio
2(11.1%)
Russell Crowe
3(16.7%)
Kelsey Grammar
2(11.1%)
Don Knotts
1(5.6%)
Graham Norton
1(5.6%)
RuPaul
0(0.0%)
Charles Bronson
4(22.2%)
Bea Arthur
2(11.1%)
Brad Pitt, but with bright green scales
0(0.0%)
Frank, the LiveJournal mascot goat
3(16.7%)

On seeing the picture of Rejectomorph, I will most likely:

Squeal with delight
6(33.3%)
Scream in terror
0(0.0%)
Go "meh"
2(11.1%)
Hit the "off" switch on my computer
0(0.0%)
Recognize him as a familiar celebrity
1(5.6%)
Recognize him as a notorious criminal
3(16.7%)
Be overcome by a desire to wash my monitor
0(0.0%)
Be overcome by a desire to have his children
2(11.1%)
Be overcome by a desire to have his children as dinner
2(11.1%)
Nod off to sleep
2(11.1%)

I will not be surprised if the picture reveals that Rejectomorph is:

A giant arachnid
1(5.6%)
Scarrier than Christopher Walken
1(5.6%)
Entirely naked
2(11.1%)
Humping a sheep
1(5.6%)
Ben Affleck's Cuter little brother, Casey
1(5.6%)
Drunk
5(27.8%)
A transvestite
0(0.0%)
Photoshopped to a fare-thee-well
2(11.1%)
Sort of dorky looking
3(16.7%)
Satan
2(11.1%)





And now...

BEHOLD!


The mighty Rejectomorph, c1986

REJECTOMORPH
also known varously as Joe, Joey, J.W., Jaydub, J-dawg, "Hey, you!" "Hello, sailor!" "May I see some ID, please?" and "Duuuude!"


As I said, the picture dates to 1986, so you have to use a bit of imagination to have an idea of how I look now. The beard is still there, though not as dark, the hair is shorter, starts a bit farther back, and is sometimes a bit spikey (I've discovered mousse,) a noticible bit of grey is on my temples, and there are a few lines here and there.

Oh, yeah. I wear glasses. Actually, I wore them even then (since I was about eleven, in fact,) but I didn't wear them when I took the picture because I was using the flash and I don't like the way flash reflects off of glasses. (hey, if they bought the bit about me being better looking now, they'll buy this too,)

So, was it worth the wait?
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