After doing the back yard I went to irrigate some of the front yard, which hasn't been getting as much. I found the faucet handle in the bit of light spilling around the corner from the garage, and put the hose on the sourgrass. Then I dealt with the laundry that was drying, and went back to water some of the bushes farther along the house. The water needed to be turned up faster for them. This time I had a flashlight with me, and I shined the light on the faucet and saw an enormous black widow spider half an inch from the handle. It had probably been there when I had turned the hose on earlier, but there hadn't been enough light for me to make it out.
The spider retreated into some stuff that is wrapped around the pipe to provide insulation in the winter, so I can't squash it with something and I can't try to burn it with the long barbecue lighter lest I set the insulating material on fire. I have no insecticide of any kind, so I'm going to have to improvise. There's some stuff I use to make the door hinges stop squeaking. I don't know if it's toxic enough to kill a black widow. It might just make her slick and mad. There is also some air freshener, and some window cleaner in a spray bottle. If I add those I might end up with a slick, shiny, clean, sweet-smelling, angry, poisonous spider. It's quite a conundrum.
In the meantime the hose is still running, though slowly. I moved it to water the bushes, but I have to turn it off eventually. Tomorrow is not a watering day and if the water police come by I don't want to have to tell them that I left the hose on all night because I'm afraid of spiders. I don't think even a black widow on your faucet gives you a pass on wasting water during the worst drought in decades.
I'm going to eat something before I deal with the problem. If I'm going to get deathly ill from a spider bite I at least don't want it to happen when I'm hungry. Stupid spiders.