Well, my plans have been thwarted again. The elf was too clever for me, evading the traps, and now I'll have to open a can of beans for dinner. I was so sure I would succeed this year, too! I'm beginning to wonder why I even bother. Maybe next year I'll just try to trap a raccoon and pretend that it's an elf. It's really too bad that I didn't even get any tiny reindeer, as this is the warmest Christmas Day I can remember having since I came here, and it would have been perfect for a barbecue.
Anyway, I'm depressed, so I think I'll just go watch television for the rest of the day. Maybe there'll be a show that doesn't have anything to do with the elf. I don't need any reminders of having yet another failure.
But bunny stew at Easter, for sure! Today, every scrap of chocolate in the house.