rejectomorph (flying_blind) wrote,


A crazy azalea bush in the back yard is blooming. If we were having a mild autumn this would not be so strange, but this plant typically blooms in the spring. Its sudden outburst of red flowers appearing on a cold and partly cloudy day in December is bizarre. Two adjacent azalea bushes are behaving themselves. I hope they continue to do so. If they, too, were to bloom now I'd suspect that some some sort of plant rebellion was underway, and I'd be very uneasy.

Will the camellia bush suddenly expand over my windows and deprive me of all sunlight? Will the gardenias suddenly emerge and spread a neurotoxic perfume that causes me to go mad? Will tendrils of jasmine break into the house and strangle me in my sleep? I have half a mind to dig up the offending azalea and burn it. There's no telling where such arrogant behavior as this shrub is displaying might lead if it is not nipped in the..., well, it's obviously too late to nip it in the bud. Nipped in the blossom, then!

Keep a sharp eye on your gardens! We may be under attack!

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