What with falling asleep after dinner, waking up around midnight, then falling asleep again at six or seven o'clock in the morning, I could be working a split shift somewhere. Maybe I'm possessed by the ghost of a waitress who spent her life working in a 24-hour coffee shop. I've spent enough time in such places myself to know what to do. I could work the dinner rush and then come back for bar dawn (2:00 AM in California.) But then there are no such coffee shops within miles of this place. And there's no guarantee that I'll keep sleeping in split shifts, so there's no point in moving to some place that does have 24-hour coffee shops.
Anyway, I get dopey after sleeping only three or four hours, so I'd probably end up spilling hot coffee on some angry drunk. Then I'd get no tip. Plus I'd have to be smelling all those eggs people eat in coffee shops at that time of day, and I don't like the smell of eggs. Life would bite more than it does now. I guess I'll just stay here and put up with my weird schedule while drawing no benefit from it.
It sure would be nice to have a jukebox to play at times like this, though.