rejectomorph (flying_blind) wrote,
rejectomorph
flying_blind

Tooth and Claw

This is what I have come to: yesterday, two guys came and weatherized the house (I have new weatherstripping around three doors, four new energy-efficient ceiling lights, some caulked face plates on light switches and electrical outlets, caulked plumbing under three sinks, and five new compact fluorescent light bulbs) and when they checked the water heater for carbon monoxide emissions I had to move some stuff so they could reach it, and behind one of the items moved I found the potholder I lost a couple of weeks ago. It went missing from the laundry, and I kept expecting to find it stuck inside a pant-leg or shirtsleeve, but never did. Finding it made yesterday a great day. When finding a lost potholder makes your day great, you know your life has gotten pretty dull.

Today is a great day, too, and considerably less dull. That's because there is a lobster living in my refrigerator (thanks, M.) It's an unaccustomed environment for a lobster, being among celery and apples and cheese and orange juice and assorted bottles of condiments. These things are seldom found on the seabed— mostly only when there has been a riot aboard a cruise ship, and that's a rare event indeed, cruise ship passengers being notoriously prone to not rioting. If cruise ship operators want riots, they ought to have more cruises for students. They have no call to blame me for the placidity of their aged passengers!

Wait, where was I? Oh, the refrigerator. Yes, my automatic garage door quit working. I think something came detached inside the opening mechanism, and I wouldn't know how to reconnect it. A nephew or someone will be coming to look at it. Right now I'm just waiting for Portia to wake up and go outside so I can cook dinner. No way I'm cooking a lobster while the cat is in the house. It's impossible to keep her off the counter under ordinary circumstances. The smell of any sort of seafood drives her wild, and she'd probably try to climb my leg. Safety first.
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