rejectomorph (flying_blind) wrote,
rejectomorph
flying_blind

A Post In Which I Say Pud Several Times

A couple of Mormon missionaries just came to my door. I was a bit disappointed to see that their outfits were somewhat rumpled. The Mormon boys used to be so tidy. They would never let the collar of their grey suit jackets ride up the way one of these guys did, nor wear their white shirts with wrinkles in them as both of these guys did. Does no one have standards anymore?

I ought not to have answered the door when they knocked. Not because I didn't want to get stuck listening to them (they were very brief, and departed readily when I expressed my lack of interest.) But if I had not answered the door, they would have left one of those cards with the picture of blond, long-haired, Nordic Jesus. I collect those, and it turns out that they only leave one if you don't answer. Next time I'll know.

Portia brought me a gift today, though. Another dead bird. That's all she ever brings me. Sunni used to bring me acorns and walnut shells. She knew me better than Portia does. Anyway, I let Portia keep the bird, and she devoured it in the garage, as usual, and then I had feathers to sweep up. If she decides to offer me the bird again in the form of kitty kak, I'll be very cross with her.

A while ago I had occasion to go looking for gum on the Internet. No, it doesn't get stuck there the way it does to the bottom of your shoe. I was trying to remember the second brand of bubble gum the stores used to sell when I was a kid. Aside from the little flat pieces that came with packets of five baseball cards, most stores in California sold two brands; Fleer's Dubble Bubble, which was an oblong square in a neat package and had a small comic strip wrapped around it, and another brand that was a lump wrapped in waxy paper with the ends twisted. It wasn't Bazooka, which I don't think was available in California. Plus Bazooka was the same shape as Fleer's, and also came with a comic strip. It really annoys me that I can't remember the name of the second brand. Yes, I have no life.

So I went looking on the ever-helpful Internets, and so far the Internets have failed to help. However, I did find this splendid page about Fleer's comic strips (never actually funny, but that was part of their charm,) which featured a fat kid named Pud. Well, Pud was fat in the 1950s, when I used to buy bubble gum, but it turns out that they slimmed him down during the 1960s, which I never knew until now because that was after my bubble gum days had ended and I had gone on to such things as trying to get older guys to buy me beer.

I think bubble gum in general went into decline in the 1960s. The kids were probably too busy smoking pot to bother with gum. Chewing is tedious when you're stoned, anyway. But I suspect that Pud's diet also had something to do with the product's declining popularity. Fat kids are fun, right? Your most entertaining friend when you were ten years old was fat, right? Mine certainly was (hey, Mike!) So, no fat kid comic with your bubble gum, why buy the gum? It would be like buying the other brand, the lumpy one with no comic, that I can't remember the name of.

Still, I now find myself pleased to discover that Fleer eventually made Pud skinny, because it gives me chance to say they quit pounding their Pud! In the world of nostalgia, getting the opportunity to make one more bad Pud joke is worth a lot.

Hey, we're getting a sun shower. More like a sun mist, actually, but I want to go out and stand in it anyway.
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