rejectomorph (flying_blind) wrote,

Speaking Ill Of the Dead

There's another reason to celebrate Independence Day today. The United States of America has survived outlived Jesse Helms. One amusing website (to which I will not link), a Fox Network channel in North Dakota, currently features a front page heading that reads exactly thus: "Jesse Helms remembered...Bush heckled...Obama celebrates..." The tags relate to three unrelated events, of course. How droll of the Foxies to link them!

Neither Al Jazeera nor The Advocate have the Helms story up yet, or I'd link to one of them instead of to the IHT story. But then the IHT is run by the New York Times, which Helms believed was staffed almost entirely by communist homosexuals and lesbians, so I'm sure if there were such things as ghosts, his would still be scandalized at my choice of Internets linkage. His ghost would also be wandering the world, of course, as Satan would never accept it into Hell. After all, Hell's standards would have to be higher than those of the U.S. Senate, wouldn't they?

Jesse Helms
So long, and thanks for all the tobacco!

But in far more important news, Joey Chestnut has again defeated Takeru Kobayashi in the annual Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest! We're number one in oral fixations!

*(Rot In Place)

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