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Sleep [Apr. 17th, 2019|11:59 pm]
I just woke up from about a three hour unintentional nap, and feel as tired as I did before I took it. That's probably a good thing. I'm going to go back to sleep and see if I can stay that way for th rest of the night. To hell with dinner, I had a late lunch.
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Not Sunday [Apr. 17th, 2019|12:00 am]
The last package arrived today. It was mostly shirts, but one jacket for colder weather which I can put away until late this year. The shirts are a bit heavier than I'd like, but will do for now. They are mostly cotton and I'm hoping they don't shrink, as they are a bit tighter than I'd expected them to be. I should probably wash them in cold water. Now that warm weather is here the water from the taps won't be as icy as it has been, so there shouldn't be a problem with the detergent.

Because I went to Safeway today it feels like Sunday. That was my regular grocery shopping day for so many years that it's difficult to adjust to the new irregularity. But instead of having a couple of days when I don't have to think about shopping, the new ads from the grocery stores will be out in just a couple of hours. I like to get the list out of the way as soon as possible, so that's what I'll start off doing tomorrow— if I remember what day it is.

I was outside about half an hour ago and heard the mockingbird give a couple of calls. It must have woken from its sleep briefly. I wonder if it saw the moon? The moon won't be full until the 19th, but it's already pretty bright. Not as bright as it was in the mountains, of course, but still bright. I wonder how it looks floating above the dead trees on the ridge? I wonder if the frogs are singing in their polluted stream? I wonder if any of my cats are hunting under the light of that moon?
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Message for Brad [Apr. 16th, 2019|02:09 am]
[Tags|, ]

Dear brad, I miss you, dad, please let us come home. Step mom dumped us on her Russian boy toys, and it's cold here. Uncle Vlad scares me. I think he ate Frank.

Love and kisses,

PS, I'm so, so sorry for anything bad I did. Can you forgive me, dad?
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Another Failed Prediction [Apr. 16th, 2019|12:31 am]
I just can't seem to get off standard time this year. It's almost midnight again and it still feels like an hour earlier. But today it means I almost missed LJ's 20th anniversary. I was of doing other stuff around the Internets and didn't see this post until a few minutes ago. That page even has a form from which you can make a comment on the first post, which Brad actually made on March 18, 1999, almost a month before the domain name was registered on April 15. So I guess I did actually miss the real, as opposed to official, anniversary, which was last month. Anyway, I already commented on the first post over 18 years ago, and commented on it again a couple of times later. Long strange trip.

Today was otherwise fairly dull. The rain that was expected turned out to be occasional sprinkles, though it turned out rather chilly and was overcast all day. I could have gone out, but didn't bother. But it turns out I will be getting a ride to Safeway tomorrow, so I don't have to worry about dealing with the annoying bus schedule. I also got the stuff I ordered from J. C. Penney's. Tracking said it would arrive tomorrow, but it turned up today. Good thing the rain failed to come. or the package might have gotten wet.

But now I have three new sport coats that do fit me. The material is not a nice as that of the coats I bought earlier which are too big, and the colors are not as nice, but they fit, dammit, so I'm not as annoyed as I might have been about the fact that these three actually cost me more than the three that don't fit did. They were not clearance items, just regular sale items, but I needed something I could actually wear.

Hark! I do believe I hear rain falling at last. I hope the end of the storm won't delay as long as the beginning has, if it has in fact arrived. It might interfere with my shopping trip. Now I must eat something, as I forgot to have both lunch and dinner today. I think I ate some chips and drank a bottle of beer. I get so forgetful anymore. I hope the people who run the "home" I end up in will take better care of me than I do.
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Blowing It [Apr. 14th, 2019|11:17 pm]
The mockingbird here sometimes sings far into the dusk— even later than the acorn woodpeckers on the ridge did. Tonight the clouds were almost invisible before it fell silent, and darkness devoured them only moments after the bird's final trill. I know from being awake early some mornings that the mockingbird will be singing again when the first faint light comes into the sky. Either it must take naps during the day, or it has incredible stamina. Either way, that bird has already made itself my favorite thing about this place. The dog across the bike path may bark, the freeway rumble noisily, and the aircraft pass overhead with annoying frequency, but hearing the mockingbird always cheers me.

The odds that I'll go out tomorrow are looking slim. The chance of rain is 100%, and it's supposed to get very windy. I'd hoped to get to Safeway this week for a few sale items, but it looks like I won't get a ride. That means if I can't go on the bus tomorrow because of the rain I'll have to do it on Tuesday, the last day of the sale. The bus service is not timed very well for going to either branch of Safeway. The time I'd have for shopping is short, and if the shopping takes a bit longer than I expect and I miss the return bus I'll have to wait an entire hour for the next one. Refrigerated goods are apt to do poorly. Such are the mundane irritations of my life in the mini-metropolis.

So it's going to be the middle of April already. Time seems severely disarranged to me anymore. Though days often seem to drag, they always end up having been too short, and the months are rushing by in a blur. The bush on the back fence, conspiring with calender and clock, or perhaps my fellow victim of their depredations, is sporting dozens of white flowers, dozens more that have already shriveled and turned brown, and dozens of unopened buds. Everything is happening at once, and taking both forever and no time at all. I feel like I have unearthed clues to some universal truth about time, but have no time to figure out what they mean. Maybe it's because I still have no cats. They were so good at making time recede into the background. Now I'm fully exposed to its irrationality in this relentless now, both past and future obliterated. I wish it was afternoon, and the mockingbird singing.

Sunday VerseCollapse )
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Goofy Weather, Goofy Me [Apr. 13th, 2019|11:59 pm]
We got another clear, mild day today, though the forecast is now predicting rain for Monday. It's also predicting days in the mid-80s later in the week, which I find distressing. April is too early for such heat. The good news is that I bought a short garden hose today, so I'll be able to water the bush that grows along my back fence. I doubt that the whole back yard is as much as 300 square feet, most of which won't require irrigation, but it will be nice to water something in the evenings again, even if it only takes a few minutes.

But tonight I ended up taking another of those unintentional naps, which lasted over two hours, so I'm muddled again. Actually I was already muddled, so I'm now extra muddled. And I'm also craving catsup. Something must be seriously wrong. I don't even have any French fries. If it were 1964 I could walk about a mile through the silent suburban streets of Los Angeles to the Seven Stars Cafe and get a cheeseburger and fries, then go home and spend the night listening to my undestroyed records and writing in my unburned notebooks.

That's over, though. I think I'll make some grits. Probably won't put catsup on them, though.
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Spring Mildness [Apr. 13th, 2019|12:10 am]
The banking is done, so no risk of overdrafts this month. Unless I've miscalculated something of course, and then get extravagant, but that's something I rarely do— get extravagant, I mean, not miscalculate. I miscalculate all the time. I'll try to keep a healthy surplus in the checking account.

But I guess I was lucky I didn't go to the bank yesterday, because this morning I got an email from one of the stores near the bank and they were giving away a free package of salami to every customer today only, while the supply lasted. It was still available when I got there, so I got a free lunch. It was only a five ounce package, but would have cost about four times what I spent on bus fare, so a profitable trip.

It was a warm afternoon, and when I got home from the bank th thermometer in the apartment said it was 74 degrees inhere. It wasn't much warmer than that outside, which confirms my suspicion that this place is going to be very costly to keep cool in the summer, especially when the nights start staying warm an I can't cool the space down overnight. It's probably going to wipe out all the savings from the fairly low gas bills I've had during the cold weather.

The package I was expecting wasn't delivered until almost half past three, which was not long after I returned. I now have one more sport coat that actually fits, more or less, suitable for warm weather, plus four new shirts and two ties and a pair of hipster pants. Since I ordered the stuff online I didn't actually know that the pants were hipster pants until I tried them on. They are about as skinny as the stuff we wore in the 1970s, but at least the fabric is a lot nicer than we had then. They are 97% cotton and 3% spandex, and are surprisingly comfortable. I'm going to try to find more pants in that fabric, though hopefully with a somewhat more generous cut.

Of course none of my cats have turned up yet, though many trappers remain in the fire zone and they continue to report many cats still running loose. I suppose there is some chance that at least one or two of mine will eventually turn up, but it seems less likely every day. It's been over five months.
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Delays [Apr. 11th, 2019|11:57 pm]
The trees have mostly leafed out now, but none of them being very near I still get almost as much sunshine as I did when they were bare. I can still see the moon when it's in the west of the starless sky, too. When I go to the nearby shopping center I can walk through quite a bit of shade in one part of the parking lot, but not in other parts. Some parking lots in Chico have considerable tree canopy, but the older ones don't. The nearby shopping center, having been partly redeveloped in recent years, has patches of both. I'm hoping that one big, hardly used, treeless parking area will get some sort of new development in it, and the part of the lot that remains parking will get some trees. It probably wouldn't happen anytime soon, though.

I slept too late again this morning and then miscalculated the passage of time this afternoon, so I didn't get to the bank as I'd intended. It will have to be done tomorrow, as my bank isn't open on weekends and Monday will be too late. I'm expecting a package delivery tomorrow, and if it's like the last one it will arrive fairly early, which will wake me up in time to get ready and get out of here during the brief window of opportunity when the bus schedule is convenient. It would be nice if the bus system here was as convenient as the one I enjoyed in Los Angeles, but that won't happen in this age of the world.

But to wake up early and then stay awake I'll have to get to sleep early, which is problematic. I should be winding down right now, but made one last foray into the online clearance sales this evening and haven't even had dinner yet. I'm just reheating leftovers, so it shouldn't take too long, but I need to get to it now. And probably drink some extra beer with it.

Still no cats. I got a flurry of cat-related messages yesterday, none of which came to anything, but none at all today. Maybe tomorrow.
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Apart [Apr. 11th, 2019|12:39 am]
Tonight my brain is seriously tired, even though I did very little with it today. The noise of the freeway and the planes flying over all the time might have rattled something lose in it, because the parts just don't seem to mesh anymore. I don't hear any grinding noises coming from it when I try to think, but I suspect that the first part to stop working was the part that would hear such things. That brain wants to fall apart without any interference from me.

It's success so far leads me to believe that it is a much smarter brain than I've heretofore given it credit for. To think that it has been lying to me all these years! I could have been something! I could have been a contender! Now it's too late, and all I can do is wait for the disassembled bits of it to start rattling around inside my skull. For now, I think I'll just go read something, while I still can. I've obviously already forgotten how to write.
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The Usual Lamentable Stuff [Apr. 10th, 2019|03:12 am]
The bottom just fell out of Tuesday, plunging me into Wednesday before I'm ready. This despite the fact that I never went out of the apartment today— except into the back yard, but the back yard being very small and entirely walled off and private I don't think of it as really being outside the apartment. The problem is I'm still on standard time. How long that will last I don't know, but it seems to me that I used to be able to make the adjustment more rapidly and easily. Another consequence of age, I suppose.

Today was a bit cooler than yesterday, but the mockingbird was singing just as cheerfully most of the afternoon. It probably sang cheerfully through the morning as well, but I wasn't awake to hear it. I slept until near noon, and then took a semi-intentional nap this evening. I say semi-intentional because, although I didn't want to actually sleep, I decided to lie down for a few minutes in spite of knowing the risk. I ended up sleeping about an hour, which was enough to leave me feeling rushed all evening. Rushed, but rested. One more consequence of age, I suppose.

I've ordered more stuff from Kohl's, having just about recovered from the previous shopping experience, and found it somewhat less hellish this time, but not much. I fear I will never be any better at online shopping than I am at actual store shopping. The first order is due to arrive Friday, and the second will probably come early next week. Then I hope I'll be done with such things for quite a while. But I'm not optimistic enough to believe that that's the case. There is other stuff that will surely want to be bought, and will chose me to buy it. Shopping, I fear, is the fate most of us who have been born in this age of the world must endure at least now and then.

Oops. I just tried to check another web page and it told me there is no Internet connection. Apparently I've let the battery on my phone run down completely. I'm recharging it, but it the loss of power shut down the hot spot connection, and the device won't let me access any if its functions until it has completely recharged, so it could be a couple of hours before I get back online and can post this. That's assuming it will work at all. I guess I'll have to go read for a while.

Well, that only took two hours. Hello, Internets. Nice to have you back. I'll have to be more careful about keeping the battery charged in the future.

Need to sleep.
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