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rejectomorph

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Murder Most Fair [Sep. 26th, 2015|11:01 pm]
rejectomorph
The last couple of nights I've seen black widow spiders hanging out in various spots on and around my back porch again. I just rid myself of a number of them a couple of months ago, but they are coming back. Last night I sprayed one, and a few minutes ago I incinerated one with a long lighter of the barbecue grill variety (safe to use int his instance as the spider in question had built its web inside the back porch sink, where there was no risk of fire.)

Tomorrow I intend to sweep away all the webs I can find, as I want to keep the yard as dark as possible for watching the eclipse tomorrow night, and I don't want to have any of the nocturnal, venomous little buggers hanging about for me to stumble into.

Earlier, I got to see an English person murdered on television. Lately I've been getting to see this happen three nights a week— an embarrassment of felonious riches! The programs are currently all reruns, but my increasingly terrible memory means the endings can often still come as a surprise to me. Later this year we're supposed to get entirely new programs (new to us, anyway— I believe they've already been seen in Britain) and I'm certainly looking forward to them. During the hiatus I've had to make do with the rather plodding and frequently unconvincing programs of Hallmark's made-for-TV mysteries.

Strange that the company that makes all those saccharine greeting cards has become a major purveyor of fictional homicide, but not surprising that the quality of their programs is not too different from that of their cards. But at least their murder-based shows are better than the sentimental glurge that makes up the remainder of their original programming.

One of their homicide movies is coming up in a few moments, and as Saturday is a bad night for television it's the best thing I'm apt to see, so I'm going now. Having lately slaughtered those arachnids, my sympathies are apt to be with the killers tonight, but we shall see. Perhaps the detectives in this particular show will be better than Hallmark's average, and I'll be able to cheer them on instead of wishing the murderer would get them too. .
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: daisydumont
2015-09-27 04:30 pm (UTC)
Black widows, good grief! I hope you do get 'em all taken care of so you can see the eclipse. (I'll just look at the latter online tomorrow. I don't have a clear view of the sky here.)

What's on Hallmark, stuff like Murder She Wrote? I don't know why, but after a while, I began to find Jessica Fletcher very tiresome. My dad, a native of Massachusetts, used to say how much he hated Tom Bosley's fake up-Maine accent. :D
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[User Picture]From: flying_blind
2015-09-27 07:25 pm (UTC)
Yes, they run MSW, plus Dick van Dyke's two shows (the doctor show and the professor show,) and then there's Matlock, and sometimes Columbo, and the one I never watch, Hart to Hart (I found those characters irritating from the beginning.)

But they also have a number of original murder-related two-hour movies, most of which are pretty cheesy. But when there are no English people murdering one another on PBS and no old film noir or campy Bulldog Drummond-style movies on TCM, I fall back on Hallmark. I'll take my slaughter and mayhem where I can find it. Except the news, of course. Real murders are rarely well-plotted. It's one field in which life seems incapable of imitating art— not even low art.

Jessica Fletcher is the typhoid Mary of murder, but I've never gotten tired of her (tiresome though she undeniably is.) I like to imagine that she actually committed most of those murders she "solved," and framed other people, and even got them to confess (she probably used witchcraft on them. I'm pretty sure that most women from New England know witchcraft, but Jessica is the most accomplished.) That's why they had to kick her out of Cabot Cove. Had she remained, the town would have been completely depopulated within a few years. I'm just disappointed that she left before killing Sheriff Tupper and framing the sententious doctor or that obnoxious gossip who runs the beauty parlor for it.
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[User Picture]From: daisydumont
2015-09-27 08:07 pm (UTC)
Haha, Jessica committed the murders and framed other people! I love that. :D
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[User Picture]From: flying_blind
2015-09-27 08:35 pm (UTC)
It's the only explanation that makes sense. What would be the odds of a tiny town in Maine suddenly developing a murder rate many times in excess of those of the most dangerous cities in the world? Only a cunning serial killer could bring that about, and the only person in Cabot Cove who was cunning enough to pull it off was Jessica Fletcher.

I suspect that she made a deal with Satan. He would make her a famous mystery writer, but she had to actually carry out in real life some of the plots he gave her. Jessica Fletcher was the most successful serial killer in history, a true Super-Villain, in league with the devil!
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[User Picture]From: daisydumont
2015-09-27 08:43 pm (UTC)
She was Moriarty! I mean, Rattigan!

the world's greatest criminal mind
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[User Picture]From: flying_blind
2015-09-27 09:57 pm (UTC)
Heh. I think Rattigan is probably a better singer, though.
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